An Open Letter to Kiernan Shipka’s Eyebrows

Dear Kiernan Shipka,

At only thirteen years old, you are already super chic (give us your closet), a recurring character on one of The Bitch Corner’s favorite shows (marry us Don Draper), and more mature than most child celebrities (we’re looking at you, Willow Smith). We’re nearly ten years older than you, and we just want to be your friend. You caught our eye in Mad Men. You went to the opening of the Rag & Bone store in LA in head to toe Rag & Bone and we died. We saw the interview with Harper’s Bazaar, and we were obsessed. As if we weren’t jealous enough of you already, you also have the greatest eyebrows of all time.


We just…can’t. It’s not fair. When we were thirteen years old we had just discovered tweezers and plucked away any potential for thick brows. We’re still waiting for them to grow into the face framing perfection seen above. Nobody told us at thirteen that we would want thick eyebrows in a few years. Now, we’re destined for a life of penciling in the eyebrows we so desperately want. Granted our eyebrows would probably look better if we had a team of professionals putting us together everyday (working on it).  Nonetheless, we at The Bitch Corner have a serious obsession with eyebrows and we will forever be envious your perfect arches.

Since you’re only thirteen, things are bound to change. Who knows, maybe you’ll even grow up and be the next Meryl (yes please), or the next Lindsay Lohan (travesty).

But to Kiernan’s eyebrows, we beg: Don’t ever change.

- The BC

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